Day 16 - First day back at work

I opened my eyes today with absolute dread, my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating! After 13 months on maternity leave I was leaving my 10.5 month old daughter in childcare and going back to work!

 

I quickly worked out that I needed to get up earlier in order to get my daughter fed, myself fed, both of us dressed, her dropped at daycare and me at work on time!  We got there and I must say THANK GOD FOR MY PREPARATION OF FOOD THE NIGHT BEFORE!!!

Now I need to talk about getting dressed for work.  This is a brave thing for me to write but I promised I would be honest in this blog.  Last week I put my work pants on low and behold they didn't fit!  Shit what the hell am I going to do now??? I had some on order because I had worked out a couple of months ago they didn't fit but I thought maybe I may have been able to squeeze into them. 

Hmmm lucky my MIL can sew and we managed to modify a pair of other pants to fit me, oh did I mention my shirts don't fit either so I'm wearing my husbands small ones that don't fit him anymore.  The humiliation I feel is incredible, I got myself dressed and looked in the mirror.......I'm still disgusted with what I saw.  I don't fit in my own uniform and have to resort to wearing my husbands!  Until the day I die I don't think I will ever get over that moment, the realization of how large I really am.

 

I dropped her off at childcare, it was the worst mummy moment ever walking away and leaving her there was terrible.  After I got through that I was off to work.  Walking in the back door of work was terrible, my heart was still pounding and I knew I didn't want to be there but hey that's life.  The rest of the day was uneventful, I had training all day. 

 

One massive positive in going back to work my eating was so much better!  I was able to get all my meals in, I didn't have a fridge in front of me to snack if I needed to and I was working so I wasn't able to just eat whenever.  By the end of the day I had complied with MP meals 100%.  My thought was to finish work then head up to the gym and get my FIRE session done......I planned but it failed.  By 4pm all I could think of was getting out of there and picking up my little princess from daycare and giving her a big hug!

 

Ahhh kids they so know how to make you feel like the worst person in the world.  We turned up to pick her up, the minute she saw us she burst into tears and cried her little heart out.  Oh my god the worst mummy guilt EVER!!!!  I gave her a big hug and we all headed home.

 

I spent some time with her, as I was sitting on the couch I had one of those moments.  It was like my two different conscience sitting on my shoulders, one was saying get up, go to the shed and at least get your ICE session done.  The other side was saying, noooooo your right just do it later or better yet do it tomorrow.  In the end the good side won and I headed out to do my ICE session. 

 

Holy snapping duck shit, 55 burpees and push ups later and that was just the start I was knackered!!! But I pushed through and finished the other 4 sets of exercises.  I believe in total I did over 200 push ups.....admittedly they weren't all 'mens' push ups but they were still push ups.  Dang my arms are going to be sore tomorrow.

I did another cook up tonight, combined some natural fat free yoghurt and some korma paste together.  Chopped some chicken breast and combined it.....popped in the fridge to marinate for a while.  Mmmmmm yummy cooked some for dinner and portioned up the rest....even the hubby liked it!

 

Just to clarify Sarah Page I FREAKING HATE BURPEES!!!!  I think number 3 on this picture adequately sums up my thoughts on burpees! LOL..................